Can I talk my sh!t again? -that's May I speak now?

Alright, so I've missed an episode of each. Here's the rub: I don't get paid, if I got paid, I'm sure I'd never miss more than one show a week.... but I don't, so real quick:

Amazing Race: I don't really know, they're still in Africa, the tattooed couple are still mind blowingly stupid, and I missed most of the show. NEXT!

Last week's Survivor: Last week's survivor was not Jimmy T. Douchy Douche Face (I can't remember his name... he's an Technology Consultant or something) made the very accurate point that in the game of survivor, there's no room for paranoia or delusions of grandeur, both of which Jimmy T suffered from.

With that all out of the way, we continue to this week's survivor sans Jimmy -that's without any Jimmy's... meaning there's no Jimmy left. The young tribe has been whooping up on -that's consistently beating- the old tribe. So it's time for the show's producers to shake some shit up! -that's switch teams.

All right, that joke has run it's course... Naonka's primary role tonight was that of "Urban Dictionary" (and every time she used a phrase she deemed "too urban" for the average Survivor viewer, she would clear up what she meant by saying "that's something something something"). Unfortunately, I can't remember any of the phrases she translated for us, and while searching for any evidence, my first attempt left me at a ridiculously racist message board... like outright racism, none of the subtle racism myself or British people employ... and that made me uncomfortable. So I quit.

And we're back to the recap- so they switched the teams up... Naonka, One Legged Girl's Friend, NASCAR Jack Man, and someone else went to the old people's tribe, and Douchey Douche Face, someone else, and Crazy Old Gypsy Lady went to the young people's tribe. The Survivor had to go win me back by re-introducing the reward challenge... see, this had been a big problem for me. I didn't write about it because every blog entry I write is already 18,000 words, so I kept putting it off, hoping they'd fix it... and they did. But those first three weeks with only one challenge a show? Ridiculous! If I'm routing for someone (and I usually am) and they lose the reward challenge, I can always tell myself "It's OK, they'll get the immunity challenge" and it keeps me invested. Without that, I'm limping across the finish line every week.

So they did a reward challenge, and The Team That Cursed Itself By Voting Out The Great Jimmy Johnson Of Extense Commercial Fame or TTCIBVOTGJJOECF lost... because they're screwed... because of aforementioned poor voting. Speaking of poor voting! They lost the immunity challenge too! They then promptly voted off Tyrone because they thought he was too bossy or they wanted me to hate their tribe or something.... whoops.

Next Week: Something Else Happens!