The Wife knows something about me: I blog best about reality TV/ I'm not sure why, I like fictional TV just fine, but when I blog about it, it's shite.
The point of all this is that my blogging plan is as follows: twice a week for Survivor and The Amazing Race. Good old fashioned reality TV. Normal people acting ridiculous on TV because they're put in ridiculous situations. Not because they're ridiculous people -that's an important distinction, but I just came up with it, so I'm not going to expand on the idea... yet.
Anyway, on with the show; Since this is the first time I've blogged about Survivor this season, I'll give a quick overview. This season the survivors were split into two teams, one team of people over 40 and one team of people 30 and under... which confirms my theory that people in their 30's don't exist... this is the most likely explanation for why I've patiently awaited my birthday for three years, only to find that it never comes. The good news is that I only have 7 more years of this, then I'll magically be 40 and worthwhile.
So one the one side, you've got "Espada"... which does not -apparently- mean "small shovel" and is full of old people, including beloved NFL coach and Extenze spokesperson, Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy T, who -I think- is the weird old guy that lives across the street from me and spends the majority of his time sitting on his porch smoking, a woman who's profession is listed as "swim coach", and who has made the most dramatic turn from "totally crazy" to "was she the one that was totally crazy?" in Survivor history, and Winny from the Wonder Years.
On the other side, "La flour", which means flower is packed full of vacuous young folks... one of which has a fake leg, and one of which is... well, there's just no good way of saying it, is way 'hood. So 'hood, in fact that she explains the difference between the way she did push down the girl with one leg and smash the tribes newly won bananas -which was 'hood- and the way she would have done it if she were ghetto. I actually feel a little bad writing about it, like I'm aiding the behavior by acknowledging it. It feels a little like what I'd expect it to feel like to write about The Bad Girls Club, which is -in it's existence- painful, and good watchin'.
But what makes Survivor work is the characters that you like. In fact the presence of Naonka (aforementioned girl who pushed down one legged girl) threatens to make this season hard to like. Last night we lost Jim... SPOILER ALERT!!!! Last night we lost Jimmy Johnson, who was a likable -albeit creepy... c'mon, can you get him saying "Go long! With Extenze!" out of your head? I can't... Anyway, Jimmy was an enjoyable presence on this show, a honestly unselfish player who was clearly there for the purpose of pushing his team forward. With his presence, the oldies managed to balance out all the crazy going on in the other tribe.
Now, that being said, it's always tough to like the show as early into the season as we are now. It will take a little time for the likable characters to emerge and for the unlikeable characters to provide context for their off-putting behavior. Right now the strong groups on both teams seem poised to advance the unlikable, but it's far to early to be sure of anything (I hope).
-Until Next Monday, Go long!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Amazing Race: Season Whatever, Episode One
This is my first season of watching the Amazing Race. So, even though I've watched an episode here and there under the guise of "what's this about?", this is the first episode I've ever really watched. Am I going to keep watching it? Probably. Why? Because there's nothing else on Sunday nights worth watching (The Simpsons is, of course, excluded, but I won't be blogging about it. Some things must remain sacred whether they deserve it or not).
I'm assuming I'm the last person on the planet to watch this show. I mean that literally, with all consideration for those living outside the warm glow of American TV, I am the last person to watch this show. Even so, in the interest of doing things the "right way" I'll give a quick overview of the show concept: Eleven "teams of two" or "pairs" race across various "places" competing in "events". Every once in a while a team gets eliminated by not completing an event fast enough and eventually someone is crowned "America's fastest tourist".
This season they start in Boston, or some coastal town near Boston with a name that I'm sure is not spelled at all like it sounds. They're put on boats... or some of them are put on boats -Aside: I'll level with you, I didn't know I was going to start a blog again today, so I wasn't taking notes. I'll further level with you, you won't get a much higher level of detail in future blogs than you are here... it's just the way I role... my wife's hot, I don't need your approval. So they're all on boats or something for some reason and we get to find out what makes them a "team of two" or "pair". It breaks down like this:
Three pairs of people "dating".
One pair has only been dating 8 months, just bought a house together, are painfully boring, and he's going to propose to her during the race. One pair has a lot of tattoos, doesn't want to be judged by their tattoos and are stupid. The third pair does something else.
Three pairs of parent/child.
One pair is an Asian immigrant and his first generation son that are an "internet sensation" for some reason. One pair is a man and his daughter that is the reigning "Ms. Somewhere" and is horrible, and the last pair is a "Biological Mother/Biological Daughter" pair that just met, and yikes.
Three pairs of "Best Friends"
Now, I'm pretty darn sure (and The Wife backs me up) that all three of these pairs of "Best Friends" are "Gay Couples"... Of course, by "Gay Couples" I mean that they are gay couples. The couples, in order of "most definitely a gay couple" to "probably at least one of them is gay, maybe they fooled one time after a few too many drinks at a frat party their friend Brad invited them to that was totally heinous", are:
Couple one- The "so definitely gay that it's hard not to include gay as part of the description of them" pair of black actors from LA. They got elimi.... OOH! Spoiler alert!... They got eliminated because they couldn't find Eastnor Castle... but let's be honest, who can?
Couple two- The pair of hot lesbian doctors who are lesbians, and doctors, and really not all that hot, but their real lesbians, so they get measured on a different scale. Also the whole thing allows The Wife to make jokes about hot "doctor on doctor" action.
Couple three- the pair of A Capella singers from an unnamed Ivy league school (Hint: I think it was I don't care). Probably not gay, probably just really nerdy and awkward. -Aside: I know, the conventional way to do the "fooled around and tried gay sex in college" is the lesbian doctors, but I'm nothing if not unconventional.
So now you're asking; "What's your point, homophobe?" it's this: I think it's interesting that 25% of the teams on the show are gay couples, yet they still insist on calling them "Best Friends"... that's all. And I'm afraid of things that are different from me.
So back to the show... oh yeah, there's two other pairs, one of them is a beach volley team of bitches and the other is a pair of home shopping network co-hosts one of which gets hit in the face with a water melon hard enough to make me ask "what's the worst case scenario for getting hit in the face with a watermelon?" followed by "How could she possibly have gotten hit in the face with a watermelon?".
The challenge went like this; drive from coastal town no one outside of New England can pronounce or cares about to Logan airport (which is a place people go to get out of New England). Get on a plane and fly to London. Thank God you're no longer in New England. Go to Stonehenge -Important side note: tattooed girl from the tattooed team tells the camera "yesterday I'd never heard of Stonehenge, now I've got to find it?"... Ok, first: bullshit. There's no way, NO WAY!! she's never heard of Stonehenge, which raises the only logical question: Why would she lie about that? Did the tattoos tell her to do it? Are they gunning for The Amazing Race most improved trophy? Does tattooed man have an unreasonable hatred of people that know anything about England? I don't have an explanation. If I were a betting man, I'd go with option B.
So, they go to Stonehenge, then to Eastnor castle which is a castle built in the late 1800's for some reason. They then had to climb a ladder while people dressed as peasants threw dirty water on them (they were put in a harness and given helmets for the purpose of climbing the ladder... I don't have a joke). After they got up the ladder they had to grab their flag from the battlements (tattooed girl to the people dressed as peasants: "Which one of you is the battlement"?).So at this point, the teams have their flags and are pulling themselves across a moat in what the show host refers to as authentic boats of the period but were essentially upside down trash can lids. This raises two questions: one- what period? and two- really?
So after that, we got some watermelon flinging, and watermelon face hitting, then the gay, black, actors from LA went home... the end.
First blog in the books... NEXT BLOG!
I'm assuming I'm the last person on the planet to watch this show. I mean that literally, with all consideration for those living outside the warm glow of American TV, I am the last person to watch this show. Even so, in the interest of doing things the "right way" I'll give a quick overview of the show concept: Eleven "teams of two" or "pairs" race across various "places" competing in "events". Every once in a while a team gets eliminated by not completing an event fast enough and eventually someone is crowned "America's fastest tourist".
This season they start in Boston, or some coastal town near Boston with a name that I'm sure is not spelled at all like it sounds. They're put on boats... or some of them are put on boats -Aside: I'll level with you, I didn't know I was going to start a blog again today, so I wasn't taking notes. I'll further level with you, you won't get a much higher level of detail in future blogs than you are here... it's just the way I role... my wife's hot, I don't need your approval. So they're all on boats or something for some reason and we get to find out what makes them a "team of two" or "pair". It breaks down like this:
Three pairs of people "dating".
One pair has only been dating 8 months, just bought a house together, are painfully boring, and he's going to propose to her during the race. One pair has a lot of tattoos, doesn't want to be judged by their tattoos and are stupid. The third pair does something else.
Three pairs of parent/child.
One pair is an Asian immigrant and his first generation son that are an "internet sensation" for some reason. One pair is a man and his daughter that is the reigning "Ms. Somewhere" and is horrible, and the last pair is a "Biological Mother/Biological Daughter" pair that just met, and yikes.
Three pairs of "Best Friends"
Now, I'm pretty darn sure (and The Wife backs me up) that all three of these pairs of "Best Friends" are "Gay Couples"... Of course, by "Gay Couples" I mean that they are gay couples. The couples, in order of "most definitely a gay couple" to "probably at least one of them is gay, maybe they fooled one time after a few too many drinks at a frat party their friend Brad invited them to that was totally heinous", are:
Couple one- The "so definitely gay that it's hard not to include gay as part of the description of them" pair of black actors from LA. They got elimi.... OOH! Spoiler alert!... They got eliminated because they couldn't find Eastnor Castle... but let's be honest, who can?
Couple two- The pair of hot lesbian doctors who are lesbians, and doctors, and really not all that hot, but their real lesbians, so they get measured on a different scale. Also the whole thing allows The Wife to make jokes about hot "doctor on doctor" action.
Couple three- the pair of A Capella singers from an unnamed Ivy league school (Hint: I think it was I don't care). Probably not gay, probably just really nerdy and awkward. -Aside: I know, the conventional way to do the "fooled around and tried gay sex in college" is the lesbian doctors, but I'm nothing if not unconventional.
So now you're asking; "What's your point, homophobe?" it's this: I think it's interesting that 25% of the teams on the show are gay couples, yet they still insist on calling them "Best Friends"... that's all. And I'm afraid of things that are different from me.
So back to the show... oh yeah, there's two other pairs, one of them is a beach volley team of bitches and the other is a pair of home shopping network co-hosts one of which gets hit in the face with a water melon hard enough to make me ask "what's the worst case scenario for getting hit in the face with a watermelon?" followed by "How could she possibly have gotten hit in the face with a watermelon?".
The challenge went like this; drive from coastal town no one outside of New England can pronounce or cares about to Logan airport (which is a place people go to get out of New England). Get on a plane and fly to London. Thank God you're no longer in New England. Go to Stonehenge -Important side note: tattooed girl from the tattooed team tells the camera "yesterday I'd never heard of Stonehenge, now I've got to find it?"... Ok, first: bullshit. There's no way, NO WAY!! she's never heard of Stonehenge, which raises the only logical question: Why would she lie about that? Did the tattoos tell her to do it? Are they gunning for The Amazing Race most improved trophy? Does tattooed man have an unreasonable hatred of people that know anything about England? I don't have an explanation. If I were a betting man, I'd go with option B.
So, they go to Stonehenge, then to Eastnor castle which is a castle built in the late 1800's for some reason. They then had to climb a ladder while people dressed as peasants threw dirty water on them (they were put in a harness and given helmets for the purpose of climbing the ladder... I don't have a joke). After they got up the ladder they had to grab their flag from the battlements (tattooed girl to the people dressed as peasants: "Which one of you is the battlement"?).So at this point, the teams have their flags and are pulling themselves across a moat in what the show host refers to as authentic boats of the period but were essentially upside down trash can lids. This raises two questions: one- what period? and two- really?
So after that, we got some watermelon flinging, and watermelon face hitting, then the gay, black, actors from LA went home... the end.
First blog in the books... NEXT BLOG!
Big Kick Off (Clean Start) Extravaganza
Clean start, new blog... that's my deal.
I had another TV blog, but I had left that one alone for so long that it felt like dropping it and starting over was the way to go. If you want to read any of my old entries, the old blog is still up at http://www.mikewatchestoomuchTV.blogspot.com. But, it's time to move on. This is my new blog, and while I'm well aware that there are far more than one million TV blogs out there, mine is better than all but 999,999 of them.... hence the new name.
The New Blog
First, the cast and characters; There's really only two people (well, real people, not the people inside the entertainment box).... Myself: Mike and The Wife. Now, it bears stating, that The Wife a) is the only person who will be reading this and b) will hate the tittle "The Wife". However, as the last blog saw her morph from "The Girlfriend" to "The Fiance", "The Wife" seems appropriate. -Aside: It just occurred to me that the argument could effectively be made "New Blog, New name for The Wife". It's a good point. I'll take it under consideration.- Anyway, that's the cast, Me and The Wife. As for the purpose of the blog, that's hard to say, but as for what you can expect, here it is: I watch a lot of TV (don't we all). Sometimes I have witty things to say about it (most of the time not). I will write some of the more clever things I think about TV here. I will write in a style that is rambling and hard to follow... that's just me, I'm as free as a bird, now, and this bird you cannot change.
OK, Off to a good start I think. First review: The Amazing Race (I'll give it it's own entry... seems more appropriate)
Note: I've got an idea. When I go off on an aside, I'm going to do it in a different color... Like This... Maybe that will help keep things clear?
I had another TV blog, but I had left that one alone for so long that it felt like dropping it and starting over was the way to go. If you want to read any of my old entries, the old blog is still up at http://www.mikewatchestoomuchTV.blogspot.com. But, it's time to move on. This is my new blog, and while I'm well aware that there are far more than one million TV blogs out there, mine is better than all but 999,999 of them.... hence the new name.
The New Blog
First, the cast and characters; There's really only two people (well, real people, not the people inside the entertainment box).... Myself: Mike and The Wife. Now, it bears stating, that The Wife a) is the only person who will be reading this and b) will hate the tittle "The Wife". However, as the last blog saw her morph from "The Girlfriend" to "The Fiance", "The Wife" seems appropriate. -Aside: It just occurred to me that the argument could effectively be made "New Blog, New name for The Wife". It's a good point. I'll take it under consideration.- Anyway, that's the cast, Me and The Wife. As for the purpose of the blog, that's hard to say, but as for what you can expect, here it is: I watch a lot of TV (don't we all). Sometimes I have witty things to say about it (most of the time not). I will write some of the more clever things I think about TV here. I will write in a style that is rambling and hard to follow... that's just me, I'm as free as a bird, now, and this bird you cannot change.
OK, Off to a good start I think. First review: The Amazing Race (I'll give it it's own entry... seems more appropriate)
Note: I've got an idea. When I go off on an aside, I'm going to do it in a different color... Like This... Maybe that will help keep things clear?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)